Why people do what they do, even if it hurt..

A little more than 8 years ago I had gone through a very difficult time with someone in my life.  After leaving the situation, I found myself “burning up inside”, wanting to know “why? . ”  I had spilled my feelings to so many people over and over again, but never found my answers.  What was my answer?  Where do I go?  Well, I had found a book called “Total Forgiveness”.  Now I’m not trying to sell you anything, but this book did help me look into an area of my emotions that I have not touched.

Forgiveness and love are the foundations of Christianity.  But here is one the insights I was missing out on… Forgiving Yourself. Yes, read that again.  Remember, no matter how much someone has hurt you, there are two sides of every story.  In the other person’s eyes, you have hurt them on some level.  

There is something that we humans all have in common, rather you realize it or not.  Now read this next line very carefully and write it down.  “We are all trying to find order in our lives at every level.”  Now I know that doesn’t seem to sound like a breakthrough line, but if you understand what it means… then it is a breakthrough. Here is an example that I have used in my seminar talks…..   You walk into a friends house and notice there is a picture on the wall that is slightly crooked.  What do you do?  You walk over and straighten the picture.  Well, a few minutes later, your friend noticed the picture being crooked so they walk over and straighten back.

Now.. this may sound weird at first.  But if you seem what is going on in each persons mind….  they both see things differently then the other person.  What maybe right in your mind is not right in the other persons.  Now do you understand?  We are all trying to “straighten” our own picture everyday. 

So with this information, I want you to think next time you have a situation happen, there is a reason why the other person is doing what they are doing.  They are straightening their picture on the wall.  This doesn’t not mean it will not hurt us in the end, but we need to learn to forgive in order to find forgiveness.  And when you find forgiveness, you might be surprised as how we ever got through life without it.  If you are living a life in anger and resentment, then you are trying to row your boat up stream.  Let go and follow God’s plan for you, but keep those foundations of love and forgiveness on each shoulder.  Look to them often for guidance.  After all,  God put them there for you.

Sorry I tilted your picture… haha

Kevin  aka…  The Tall Guy With The Camera



About Kevin Talley Photography

Louisville Based Photographer. Published in Oxygen Magazine, Women's Health Magazine Former Model with Elite and Wilhelmina in Miami and NEXT & Ford in Los Angeles.

Posted on July 11, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. WOW! I so needed to read this today…similar situation. Still asking why…definately need to read. My picture has been crooked for a long time. Thanks Kevin.

  2. Psychologically we should never beat ourselves up for our own mistakes, we must learn from them, therefore forgivness of oneself is the only healthy attitude to have in order to move forwards. Forgiving others for the hurt they have caused you is not always psychologically healthy. We all have different values in life and there is a socially accepted behaviour expected of mankind with each individual having a varience of that behaviour arriving from their own circumstances and environment. Therefore sometimes forgivness may be inappropriate and will affect your own psych into accepting a situation that is not true of who you are and it will in time erode your wellbeing. On the otherhand we sometimes consider we have made a forgivness when in fact we have not forgiven but have actually moved onwards and that situation is no longer as important as we initially thought. You are totally correct to say we all look at the picture in different ways and that is what makes us all unique and providing we are socially intergrated and our behaviour is acceptable we have a very good chance of dealing with most situations.

    Sometimes we need to stop looking for the answers and just get on and do what we enjoy and do it well. All the answers are already there and will come to light when you least expect.


  3. Garnet and Jen

    Thank you for this beautiful perspective – it is a timely piece of wisdom. Reading this we understand now that forgiveness is a gift we all must give to every area of our lives, to every picture we have and will create. Keep writing 🙂

  4. Thank you 🙂

  5. Nice, Kevin! I can certainly relate to your post. Thank you for posting.

  6. Keith & Nia Landry

    Powerful and insightful….

  7. Nice, Kev–enjoyed this! 🙂

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